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It's Hollywood legend that a young Steven Spielberg broke into the Universal lot to start his movie career. Less well known is that Francis Ford Coppola poisoned the head of development at Paramount with bleach, or that George Lucas knifed six guards in a prison riot to get Star Wars made.
There are two takeaways from this. One: America's filmmakers are degenerate thugs. Two: Security was a
Luckily, you don't have to. Introducing the nominees for the 2014 Saxxy Awards, who were able to be incredibly creative without being the prime suspect in a string of brutal unsolved murders in 1974 (John Carpenter).
The summer blockbuster season is over, which means we're heading into Oscar season, which means a lot fewer movies with talking raccoons breaking out of space jail and Captain Americas Legolassing fighter jets and a lot more movies with Colin Firth being sad.
But just because theater movies won't get fun again for six months doesn't mean there isn't anything good to watch. Why? Because voting has started on the Fourth Annual Saxxy Awards! With Portal and Left 4 Dead assets now in the mix, this promises to be the biggest Saxxys yet.
Voting ends 11:59PM PDT on Monday, September 29th, so if you want your upvotes and downvotes to get counted, get in there and start watching! (Also, if you could help us out, don't forget to downvote entries that violate the Saxxy Awards rules: No ads, and the short must link to any music/assets that weren’t created by the submitter.) Head over to Source Filmmaker for more information and contest rules.
As geniuses go, Isaac Newton is probably the top-rated genius of all time. He didn't just invent motion and gravity—when the crappy math of his day wasn't getting the job done, he took an afternoon off and invented calculus like a champ.
But then instead of telling anybody he invented calculus, he hung out in his pajamas making immortality potions and looking for the lost city of Atlantis, and somebody else invented calculus first. What we're saying is, for a genius, Isaac Newton was kind of an idiot.
So it was nice to watch some real geniuses (the TF2 community) waste no time at all submitting your brilliant inventions to the TF2 Merchandise Workshop. Not even a month after we announced the Merchandise Workshop existed, there are already top-voted community designs currently on sale at WeLoveFine, with plenty more great stuff on the way.
For decades, humanity looked at the common baseball hat and just saw a thing you put on your head. It took a special kind of person to look at it and think, "I could attach beer cans to the sides of that thing so I'll have my hands free to hold two additional beers." It took a special kind of person to look at a t-shirt and realize, "I could draw a tuxedo on that t-shirt and trick people into thinking I'm wearing a tuxedo."
Who were these people? Drunk idiots, mostly. But also visionaries. And now we're giving the Team Fortress 2 community the chance to join that pantheon. How? By submitting your t-shirt and poster designs to be voted on by the Team Fortress 2 community. Simply navigate to the ‘Merchandise” tab in the Team Fortress 2 Workshop.
Once the votes are in, we’ll curate the top-rated entries, and the best of the best designs will be made available as official merchandise at the Valve Store and various online retailers. You won't just be ensuring your place in history: You'll also get paid a handsome royalty for every unit sold. (For more info on submitting your designs, visit the FAQ.)
The folks over at Source Filmmaker have just announced the Fourth Annual Saxxy Awards, and in the process dropped a bombshell: they've also added a Portal content pack as SFM DLC, and invited the Portal community to submit Portal videos to the Saxxy Awards for the first time. This means that this year more than ever, Team Fortress will be forced to compete on the same Saxxy Awards stage as Portal. And this could spell trouble for the Saxxy Awards janitors, since the resulting bloodbath from the absolute creative eviscerating TF2's going to give the Portal community will clog up the drainage system for weeks.
But the time for big talking is over. Now it's time for action. And that means us leaving the stage after all the fun big talking and letting you do all the actual work. Check out the Source Filmmaker blog for rules and more details on the Saxxy Awards. And remember: Portals are just holes. You know what else are just holes? Toilets. Anyway, good luck to Toilet 2.
