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It probably wouldn't surprise you to learn that a professional assassin like myself tends to be... discrete about things. We keep to the shadows. We avoid the spotlight. We don't host bloody dinner parties, is my point, and we don't make big bloody statues in effigy to our bloody selves.
Well, nobody bothered to tell the folks at Gaming Heads, since they only went ahead and turned me into a fourteen-inch-tall embarrassment to professionals everywhere. Two months ago Saxton Hale showed up at my door with a clipboard, a pen, and some girl he claimed was his niece, asking me to pledge five dollars for a charity walk. I wish I'd read the fine print, since Mann Co. now owns my likeness rights until the year 7039.
Anyway, the statue's out now, so if your daughter already has dolls that cry and soil themselves, why not buy her one that kills people for money? Give her a career goal. Because I guarantee you wetting your pants is not a paying job.
—Sniper
Make sure to check out Spike TV's Video Game Awards pre-show tonight at 8pm EST over here, where we'll be unveiling the winner of the Best Overall category from the 2012 Saxxy Awards! (In case you miss it, go ahead and rewind to the beginning).
That not exciting enough for you? Well, Spike TV is also picking the best game of the decade. And guess what game is nominated. Did you guess TF2? Because, no. Believe us, we read the list about twenty times to make sure, and TF's definitely not on there. Why? Our guess is that it's all just a big popularity contest where commitment to you - the best community of the decade - apparently doesn't count for crap. That said, we should all stay calm and put the system on trial next decade, because both Portal and Half Life 2 are nominated, which is a pretty sweet deal for those two games. Sure, voting for one of them isn't the same as voting for TF2, but it's honestly as close as you're gonna get for at least ten more years, so go for it.
UPDATE: Click here to see the winner of Best Overall!
The Second Annual Saxxy Awards start in just 10 minutes! And to celebrate, everybody who participated in voting is getting a free Saxxy Clapper Badge!
Don't forget to watch the Spike Video Game Awards pre-show December 7th, where we'll announce the winner of the "Best Overall" category live!
Lastly, due to getting fewer submissions than we'd hoped for the "Best Original Universe" category, we didn't think it was fair to the other finalists to showcase it at the awards site, since they had to battle through stiffer competition to make it this far. But congratulations all the same to TheMike, Black_Stormy, Crazyb2000, Gamerman12, Oggnog, =|NLR|= Narry Gewman and Anton on their winning short "Elements". Your Saxxy's on the way, guys!
The awards are getting polished. The limousines are gassed up. We're even steam-cleaning all the gravy stains out of the red carpet. All those portentous omens can mean just one thing: In just 48 suspense-packed hours, the Second Annual Saxxy Awards presentation will begin—LIVE, on the internet!
If you're looking for something to do while you're whiling away those hours, why not visit the awards site and keep time with our handy countdown timer? It's not just fun—it will teach you valuable lessons about the passage of time that you can use in your everyday life! If watching precious seconds subtract themselves from your lifespan isn't your thing, make an appointment with the local Teufort tailor and grab The Tuxxy (available Thursday from Mann Co. Store) so you'll have some dapper duds for the big night.
Voting is now LIVE for the Second Annual Saxxy Awards, from now until midnight GMT, November 27th! Your votes will help our panel of judges make the final call on which entries are the most gut-bustingly hilarious, the most eye-wettingly dramatic, the most pants-crappingly action-packed, and the most heart-tuggingly romantic. We don't want to oversell things here, but this is quite literally the most important thing you will ever cast a vote for. All that Presidential election hooha? Consider that nonsense practice for your voting finger, like the training montage in Rocky IV, except instead of your finger lifting a telephone pole up a mountain on its back, it'll be clicking a mouse button.
How to Vote
Every video entered in the 2012 Saxxy Awards can be viewed and voted on at the Saxxy Awards voting page. Head over now to vote! We've randomized all the entries to keep things fair; however, you can filter by category if you're more interested in some genres than others. After you've watched an entry, simply upvote it or downvote it and move onto the next one. Vote as much as you like, but remember: you've only got one vote per entry.
Also, with such a huge number of entries, it's a challenge to keep on top of entries breaking the contest rules. So if you spot an entry that's longer than five minutes, or that's using copyrighted (i.e. not Valve, and not public domain) material, help us out and report it.
The winners of this year's Saxxy Awards will be revealed on November 30th, with the exception of the Best Overall category. Why? Because the winner of the Best Overall category will be announced LIVE on the GTTV Spike Video Game Awards pre-show on December 7th, AND their entry shown on the air. Stay tuned for details!
