Runnin’ rings around all them molasses-slow dummies out there on the battle- field is thirsty frickin’ work. But when it comes to quenchin’ that thirst, only one thermonuclear thirst detonator packs all the “Atomic Punch” you’ll ever need. Bonk! is fulla radiation, which as we all know is pretty great for givin’ people superpowers. Just one can’ll blast ya into a few-second rush of radioactive energy so powerful you’ll be dodgin’ bullets like they ain’t even there!
Note: Bonk! contains several hundred times the daily recommended allowance of sugar. After the beneficial effects of the radiation wear off, drinkers have reported experiencing feelings of lethargy that can last several seconds. Reading this sentence absolves Bonk! of any liability for killing sprees inspired by or deaths resulting from the ingestion of Bonk! Enjoy Bonk! responsibly… Or by the case!

I'm Bat Man: Survive 500 damage in one life.

Moon Shot: Stun an enemy for the maximum possible duration by hitting them with a long-range ball.

No Hitter: Steal and then capture the enemy intelligence without firing a shot.

Out of the Park: Bat an enemy 25 meters.

Pop Fly: Kill 20 players while double-jumping.

Quick Hook: Kill a player in Well before the round starts.

Race for the Pennant: Run 25 kilometers.

Retire the Runner: Kill a Scout while they are snared by the post-dodge slowdown effect.

Round Tripper: Capture the enemy intelligence 25 times.

Set the Table: Initiate 10 point captures that ultimately succeed.

Side Retired: Capture the last point in a CP map.

Stealing Home: Start capping a capture point within a second of it becoming available.

Strike Zone: Kill 50 enemies while they are stunned.

The Big Hurt: Stun 25 ÜberCharged enemies.

The Cycle: In a single life, kill an enemy while you are on the ground, in the air, and in the water.

Triple Play: Capture three capture points in a row in one life.

Triple Steal: Capture the enemy intelligence 3 times in a single CTF round.

A Year to Remember: Get 2004 lifetime kills.

Artful Dodger: Dodge 1000 damage in a single life using your Bonk! Atomic Punch.

Batter Up: Perform 1000 double jumps.

Batting the Doctor: Kill a Medic that is ready to deploy an ÜberCharge.

Beanball: Stun a scout with their own ball.

Belittled Beleaguer: Kill an opposing player that has your intelligence while holding theirs.

Block the Plate: Block 50 point captures.

Brushback: Stun 50 enemies while they are capturing a point or pushing the cart.

Caught Napping: Kill 50 enemies from behind with the Force-A-Nature.

Closer: Destroy 3 teleporter entrances.

Doctoring the Ball: Kill 3 enemies while under the effects of a Medic's ÜberCharge.

Dodgers 1, Giants 0: Kill an enemy Heavy and take his Sandvich.

Fall Classic: Cause an environmental death or suicide using the Force-A-Nature's knockback.

First Blood: Get the first kill in an Arena match.

First Blood, Part 2: Kill 5 enemies with the First Blood crit buff.

Foul Territory: Cause an environmental death by stunning an enemy.

Gun Down: Destroy an active sentry gun using your pistol.

If You Build It: Destroy 3 enemy buildings while they are still under construction.