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Steam SupportVisit the support site for any issues you may be having with the game or Steam.
As strongly implied in yesterday's educational Australian Christmas comic, Dr. Grordbort has once again landed a steam-powered rocket directly into the gravelly fields of the TF2niverse. Only this time the rocket's a little roomier, and has arrived bearing gifts for two classes, the Engineer and the Pyro.
Click here for Part One of our Australian Christmas Update Announcement, and don’t forget to check back tomorrow for Announcement Part Two and, more importantly, the update itself.
Just because the update’s coming tomorrow doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be playing RIGHT NOW, because guess what: Double drop rates start tonight! They’re only around until next Wednesday, so get in there and take advantage of all the double dropping!
What is the true meaning of Australian Christmas? Some say it is a hamfisted attempt by the Australian government to turn a notorious felon into a beloved folk hero. Others say it's a calculated ploy by the novelty munitions industry to sell guns that shoot mistletoe.
And then there are those who look past all that, and maintain that it is a time to reconnect with friends and loved ones, and to be thankful for the blessings in our lives.
And then there are those who are still licking their emotional wounds from all the reconnecting with friends and loved ones they did at Thanksgiving, and realize that the true true meaning of Australian Christmas is zero human contact, eating candy, and getting as many presents as possible.
And those people are correct—that is the true meaning of Australian Christmas. We looked it up.
But don't take our word for it. Ask the Engineer.
Today, we're introducing a new item from the Steam Workshop, voted on by the community and buyable by everyone. The “Itsy Bitsy Spyer” is a miniature Spy voodoo doll that clips onto the Engineer's belt. It's featured in our Mann Co. Spotlight box at the immediate right of this post!
And for you traders out there, there's a link right underneath the Spotlight item that'll let you buy keys without going into the game. Plus, we’ve removed the three-day trading cooldown for anyone whose first Steam purchase was 30 days ago or more.
All of which brings us to the last new feature we're introducing today: "Buy Now" links that you can create for any item and embed anywhere. Visit the FAQ for more details!
Update: The deadline for holiday-themed item submissions is this Friday Dec. 2 at 4:53pm PST. Any items submitted to the Workshop after this time will not be eligible to be included in this year’s holiday update.
It's that special time of mid-November, where nothing is special yet, but you can feel the tingle of impending specialness right around the corner. All the signs are there. When you kill a man, you can actually see his last breath hanging in the chill mid-November pre-specialness air. Turkeys have retreated to their bunkers in a vain attempt to weather the upcoming onslaught of holidays devoted to gleeful turkey slaughter. And are those sleighbells we hear? Because our legal department assures us they aren't. That's right, TFers. It's beginning to look a lot like an upcoming holiday our legal department won't let us mention, but that rhymes with "Smissmas".
Everywhere, that is, except in our item submission queue, where there doesn't seem to be any Smissmas joy at all. No Smissmas trees. No smazzletoe. Not even a smamukkah bush, which is a different holiday we can't mention but would also have been acceptable.
So it's up to you, item crafters! You've got until December 1st to have your hearts grow three sizes, be visited by spirits in the night, and get in the Smissmas spirit by submitting holiday-themed items to the Steam Workshop. What holiday? Your guess is as good as ours!
Merry Bazzlebarp, everybody!
First order of business: Some DAMNED WEBSITE is asking any know-nothing mope with a keyboard and an opinion the preposterously self-evident question of whether I can BEAT UP A DOCTOR IN A FIGHT. Let's put aside that unlike with Mann Co., when a customer isn't wholly satisfied with a doctor's services, the doctor won't even CHALLENGE THAT CUSTOMER TO A FIGHT. In fact, he CAN'T challenge that customer to a fight, since doctors take a cringing oath of cowardice to "do no harm". Let's also put aside the fact that this contest doesn't even specify what SORT of fight this doctor and I would would be engaged in. (Let me answer that: A VERY SHORT ONE.)
Let's ignore all that and stick to the facts: I have PERSONALLY MANSLAUGHTERED 1,593 physicians in various forms of unarmed and/or unwilling combat, and let me tell you, that statistic carries a lot of weight at the doctor's office. Let's just say a "Beaten to Death in the Head by Fists" can turn into a "Natural Causes" on a coroner's report PRETTY FAST when you're cracking the right knuckles at the right people.
Still, if some online poll insists on propagating lies that I can be bested in fisticuffs by any Scottish-Japanese doctor who wants to throw on a ski mask, then I must turn to YOU, the fine customers of Mann Co.'s top-notch line of occasionally combustible products, to PUT THAT LIE TO REST. Click here, and RIGHT an INTERNET WRONG with your FINGER-FIST.
In other news, one of you FINALLY REMEMBERED that the U.S. postal service is a THING THAT EXISTS and answered the conundrum I posed during the Manniversary update about making an ostrich disappear:
Thank you, PVO, for your (relatively) prompt reply. Far too late to be useful, of course, as the police knocked in the door to my office weeks ago and I was forced to think on the spot (I ate the ostrich). But you get a hearty Mann Co. RELAXED-FIST CLAPPING SOUND for your inventive solution to my problem.
I have manslaughtered 1,593 physicians,
Saxton Hale
